I should start by saying that this isn’t a suicide note or intention of suicide, it’s just curiosity. I have no plans to do so and I warn you there may be triggers.
Every now and then I read a piece in the newspaper or see something on TV about a person dying. Today sadly I read about a Chinese man dying after a truck load of bitumen being stored at 100OC fell on him and also a man who fell 130ft to his death in Italy.
While both of these incidents are tragic incidences they aren’t quite brought home to you as when something happens to someone who you have met, who you see most days. Such as an incident at work where a car came off the road and ploughed through the fence near missing a person but taking a poor dog with it – the dog was totally unhurt and enjoyed the fuss and hugs afterwards.
So these things make you realise how short life is and that it can be taken away from you within a split second. Everyone says that you need to enjoy your life because you never know when it is going to be taken away from you. True and I agree whole heartedly with that. Go out and live life as though you won’t wake up tomorrow.
Though, what I have been curiously thinking about is that split second that you die, not the moments after, but the moment it happens. What does death feel like? Does everything stop? Is your subconscious still there talking to you? Does peace instantly hit? Do you float? Is it bright? What does it smell like? Do you have a faint ringing in the ears? Can you feel the air rushing around you? Is there really a bright light?
All these questions about what that moment in time feels like yet no inclination to question how it feels after death. This makes me wonder if those people who have a near death experience can answer these curiosities. They have been there and have been lucky enough to have come back to life and so have they experienced that silence that I picture death brings.
It is something I should read more about and I’m sure that there are interesting accounts on the internet about these experiences. Hopefully this will put an end to thinking this way, which to me says that I can accept death if it were to happen.
I’m not scared of dying. I have been through too much in my life and have been hurt in ways unimaginable to worry about such things. This is merely a curiosity I have. It is because of coming out the other side of these traumas that makes me realise the importance of life and the strength I have been given to continue.